Unfiltered Story #56695

(My manager and I are chatting one morning while business is slow.)

Me: “You ever think about how fads seem really stupid after they’re over?”

Manager: “Hmmm?”

Me: “Well, think about some of the stuff that was popular in the 90s. Slap bracelets, pogs, talking like a surfer while not actually BEING a surfer?” (making vomit sounds)

Manager: “I’ll have you know I had a huge collection of pogs.”

Me: “And don’t even get me started on boy bands.”

Manager: “You mean you didn’t like [boy band] and [other boy band]?”

Me: “About as much as I like being eaten alive by sharks. Although [boy band member] did go to my high school.”

Manager: “You met him?!”

Me: “No, he graduated before I started there. Although his class did have their own senior sidewalk and he had a square in it. I used to spit on it as I walked by.”

Manager: “How could you do that?! That’s like spitting on the Cross, or like spitting on a kitten! You wouldn’t spit on a kitten, would you?”

Me: “I might if I could have [boy band member] put to sleep at the vet’s. I’d just be like, ‘This is for poisoning our culture with your terrible music, jerkbag!'”

Manager: “You are awful.”