Unfiltered Story #56656

(The spousal consolidation student loan I have with my wife has been sold to a new student loan company, as happens often with loans. I get the paperwork and immediately notice a mistake. Someone has swapped my father’s name for my wife’s name and listed him as cosigner. For the sake of privacy I have changed names, but it should be noted, we all share the same last name, which is being uses by both of us at every point in this conversation.)

Customer Service Representative: “Hello, this is [name] how can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I noticed that, at some point when my student loan was transferred to your company, someone seems to have mistaken my father’s name, John *same last name* for my spouse’s name, Mary *same last name*. So you are listing my father as my spouse and cosigner for on this loan. As this is a spousal consolidation student loan, only my wife has ever been a cosigner this loan, and every other loan for that matter, so this is an error on your part.”

Service Rep.: “So what is your father’s name?”

Me: John *same last name*

Service Rep.: “No, I need your father’s name not your spouse’s name.”

Me: “That is my father’s name. I am married to Mary *same last name*. My father is John **. That is the problem.”

Service Rep.: “Okay, you’re not married to John **?”

Me: “No, that is my father.”

Service Rep.: “I’m sorry I don’t understand. Are you divorced from John **?”

Me: “No, again, that is my father. I am married to Mary **.”

Service Rep.: (with great confusion in her voice) “So you’re married to both John ** and Mary **?” (Insinuating a polygamist marriage)

(I’m getting frustrated, so I start to talk slowly and deliberately)

Me: “No…again…, John ** ….is my father (with emphasis on father). At no point have I ever been married to my own father. For the entire length of this loan I have only been married to one person, Mary **.”

Service Rep.: “Okay, I think I understand now. However, in order to change your spouse’s name, I need documentation that you have never been married to John ** and only marred to Mary **.”

(I pause for a second, while trying to figure out how in the world to do this…)

Me: “So what kind of documentation do I need to send you to prove that I have never been part of a Legally Recognized Incestuous Homosexual Polygamist Marriage?”

(long pause….)

Service Rep.: “I’m not sure; I will have to call you back after I speak to the manager in the special issues department. Can I call you later today at *gives my phone number*?”

(After 2 months and numerous calls, I finally convinced them that I was not married to my own father and wife at the same time. It’s scary that I owe these people money.)