Unfiltered Story #47954

Pittsburgh, PA | Unfiltered | December 4, 2016

My twin sister comes back from a Sunday Catholic Mass where the priest gives a sermon on “Good Men Who Do Nothing,” using as an example the story of the 1964 murder of Kitty Genovese where 37 bystanders witnessed the attack but did not call the police.

TWIN SISTER: The priest gave pretty much THE EXACT same sermon as the one in the opening of The Boondock Saints!

ME: Well, that story is a pretty popular example of people who do nothing.

TWIN SISTER: Yes, but this is the Catholic Church! I half expected Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery to show up on the altar!

ME: Well, we are twins…

TWIN SISTER: Sure, God is telling me to get rid of all evil people now.

ME: That’s supposed to happen when you go to sleep!

TWIN SISTER: I was sleepwalking on the way home!

ME: You’re doing it all wrong! We need to be asleep in a room together. But… we also need to be in jail.

TWIN SISTER: Yes, how to we end up in jail?

ME: I don’t know…drop a toilet on a guy’s head?

TWIN SISTER: But that means we have to get into a bar fight with some Russian gangsters first!

(Long pause)

TWIN SISTER AND I: (in unison) TO THE BAR!

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