Unfiltered Story #47922

(My older brother often teases me for acting “gay”. He is also a pickup artist, something my family disagree with and are currently talking about.)

Brother: Pickup artistry is the only way to get attractive women, though.

Me: Maybe for short relationships, but for longer relationships you won’t get an emotional bond that way.

Father: You should get to know the person first. Attraction to them can develop in time if you start off platonically.

Me: Women you meet at random won’t be as deep.

*pause*

Me: Metaphorically, not literally.

*laughs*

-A few hours later-

Mother, to me: You shouldn’t slouch, it will give you a bad back.

Father: You’ll become a bent old man.

*pause*

Father: Literally, not metaphorically.