Unfiltered Story #47722

(I live in a suburban split-level. We had a tenant who lived in the basement, but moved out recently, and mom has been renovating the apartment for herself. My dad suggests she get a lamp so she can see better; they go to Home Depot so she can pick one out. Later, she has assembled the lamp in the living room. It is a floor lamp with a open shade; that is, the part covering the bulb looks like a bowl. We’ve had a similar one upstairs for years. My dad takes one look at the new lamp and starts to panic.)

Dad: That’s really tall! The ceiling could catch on fire! We should get a shorter one.

(The bulb is several feet from the ceiling.)

Mom: I’m pretty sure they were all that tall.

Dad: They should have a shorter standard height!

(My mom eventually takes the lamp downstairs to the apartment, with my father fretting over how tall it is all the while.)