Unfiltered Story #47687

Conversation with my mom the other evening:

Mom: “So, have you made friends with any nice boys lately?”

(Note, I’m 30 -my mom still refers to men I should be dating as “nice boys.”)

Me: “Yup. I have lots of guy friends.”

Mom: “No, I meant for marrying.”

Me: “Nope. Like I told grandma a week ago, all the guys my age who are ‘normal’ are all married. If they’re not, they’re either not stable in some way -mentally or financially -or they have no interest in marriage, which defeats your purpose.”

Mom: “What about a girlfriend?”

(Now, I would like note, my mom meant guys with girlfriends. She’s said before as long as they’re not married, you’re not tearing apart a family, so even guys who are dating are fair game -which I absolutely very strongly disagree. So, of course, I mess with mom.)

Me: “Oh, I don’t have a girlfriend yet.”

Mom: “No, I meant guys with -EW That’s gross!”

Me: “What? No -I’d pick a really cute one. I don’t want a gross girlfriend.”

Mom: “That’s gross! You having a girlfriend would be so gross!!”

Me: *dropping my mom off at her house, I’m following her now* “What if she’s super, duper cute??”

Mom: “GROSS!!”

Me: *practically follows her into the house, giggling* “What if she’s super, duper cute, and a little pretty like me??”

Mom: *laughing* “GROOOOOOOOOOOSSSSS!!” *shuts the door in my face*