Unfiltered Story #47676

(My sister and I, our father and his brother and sister, and our uncle’s children, are at the zoo. Our youngest cousin, about four at the time, has pulled a stain-removing bleach pen out of my aunt’s purse.)

Me: Keep that away from her! She’s drawing all over herself!

Uncle: It’s just a pen. She does this all the time.

Me: It’s a bleach pen! You’re letting your kid play with bleach in public!

Uncle: I’ve never heard of that. (He just turns away like nothing has happened.)

Aunt: (Helps me wrestle it from my cousin.) My brother’s a DOOFUS!