Unfiltered Story #375661

(My two older brothers and I are in a chat group together. It can get a bit confusing (and frustrating) at times, as we’re all sarcastic by nature, and our relationship is based on (good-natured) teasing, but we make it work. It’s the beginning of December. Note: [Bro #1] lives in Asia, and [Bro #2] recently moved to the Capital while I moved back home because of health reasons. At 24 years old, I am the youngest, and the only girl.)

Bro #1: “‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’ is on the speakers of every shop right now. It’s 30°C outside.”
Me: “It’s still December.”
Bro #1: The only difference between Summer and Winter here, is the rain. Also, I forgot to mention that I received condoms in the bus on Friday.”
Me: “Congratulations?”
Bro #1: “Yeah, two men in uniform. No message or explanation or anything.”
Me: “We only ever receive ticket controls on the bus.”
Bro #1: “You should write the company and say you’d be happier if you received condoms next time. Then again, I do live in an oppressive military dictatorship. Maybe it was a protest of some sorts.”
Me: “Perhaps.”
Bro #1: “What is more preferable; a dictatorship with condoms, or a democracy with ticket controls?”
Me: “Generally, I think I prefer the democracy.”

(At this point [Bro #2] *finally* answers a question I’d asked five hours earlier, about a present for Dad. He builds model cars, and wanted a glue gun. After I bought one, he informs me that he found one hidden in the basement.)

Me: “I figured I’d just keep the one I bought for myself.”
Bro #1: “What are you gluing?”
Me: “You know, cards, paper stuff, etc.”
Bro #1: “Is Hallmark bankrupt?”
Bro #2: “Not fingers?”
Me: “I enjoy making things, and come on boys, gluing my own extremities? I’m better than that.”
Bro #1: “You’re a threat to the status quo.”

(Fast forward five days:)

Bro #1: ” Bought a car today.”
Bro #2: “Whaaaat? Which one?”
Me: “Congrats, all you need now is a license!”
Bro #1: “Working on it!”

(Another three days later:)

Bro #1: *with picture attached* “The chocolate in the advent calendar keeps melting.”
Me: “Maybe keep it in a cool place, then.”
Bro #1: “Advent calendars in the fridge? Is there tradition for that, though?”
Me: “If you live in a hot country and don’t want melted chocolate, there is.”
Bro #1 “Don’t want to.” *frowny face*
Me: “Then you enjoy your melted chocolate, and I’ll enjoy my not-melted chocolate.”

(A month or so later, I sent a picture of our snow-covered neighborhood, saying I found [Bro #1]’s “Winter Wonderland.”)

Bro #1: “Lots of snow in [my city], then, I take it?”
Bro #2: “A hell of a lot more than you have, I reckon. *crying laughing emoji*”
Bro #1: “31°C just after sunset is surely considered an ordinary winter, no?”
([Bro #2] responds with a picture of his car completely covered in snow, and the caption, “Winter Hell”.)
Bro #1: “I think I’ll stick with the rain.”