Unfiltered Story #365208

We’re cleaning up the front room, which we use for crafting and other things, like my kid brother’s computer, when I spot his graduation pillow on the floor.
Me: Pick up your pillow and put it in your room. Pillows go in bedrooms.
Mom: But it’s his graduation pillow!
Me: I’m not saying that he needs to sleep with it in his bed. Just put it in his room.
Brother: But where should I put it?
Me: Put it on top of the shelving unit in your room, next to your dad.
Brother: Okay! *runs to do it*
Mom: What the hell, (my name)?
Me: It sounded a lot better in my head before it came out of my mouth. But you have to admit, it’s true! That would be a good spot for it. (Stepdad’s name) would approve. (Note: my stepdad passed away a few years ago, so his urn is in a decorative basket on a shelf in my half-brother’s room.)
Mom: But still… What the hell? You’re not right.
Me: I get it from you. I call dibs on sharing this on Twitter.
Mom: Only if I get dibs on Facebook.
*a few moments later*
Me: I can’t fit it in 140 characters!!!
Mom: Aww, poor baby. *sees me typing away* Still trying to figure out how to do it?
Me: Nah, gave up. Sharing it on Not Always Right’s family section.