Unfiltered Story #363837

(A friend and I are discussing sharing a hotel room on a trip in a few months)

Me: I’m fine with it, but I should warn you that I think I snore.
Friend: That’s what portable mud players are for! Don’t worry, I don’t bite!
Me: (attempting to make a joke about her turning into a zombie overnight) If there’s a chance you might bite, you’d better bring something to tie you to the bed with!
Friend: (laughs while I realise what I said) That came out wrong!
Me: …That came out wrong.