Unfiltered Story #363554

This story takes place more than thirty years ago. I am just under a year and a half, my mom is either severely pregnant with my brother or has just had him, and we have recently moved into the neighborhood and are taking a walk around it. We come upon one of the neighbors who is walking a very large dog (my mom does not remember what kind, only that it is about as tall as I am. Mom, incidentally, is terrified of dogs, but has been working very hard to overcome that).

I have been learning the parts of the body, so when I see the dog, I evidently decide this is a good time to practice.

Me: “Look, Mommy, that doggie has his ears on!”
Mom: “Yes, he does.”
Me: “And look, Mommy, that doggie has his eyes on!”
Mom: “Yes, he does.”
Me: “And look, Mommy, that doggie has his nose on!”
Mom: “Yes, he does.”

This goes on, front to back, with me naming the parts and my mom agreeing with me, until, in the same bright, cheerful tone I have been using the whole time…

Me: “And look, Mommy, that doggie has his penis on!”
Mom: *not missing a beat* “Yes, he does.”
Me: “And look, Mommy, that doggie has his tail on!”
Mom: “Yes, he does. Why don’t we let the nice doggie enjoy his walk?”
Me: “Okay!”

As we move on, Mom glances back over her shoulder to see our neighbor, stood stock-still in the middle of the sidewalk, with her fist jammed halfway down her throat in an effort not to burst out laughing.