Unfiltered Story #363445

I am taking a tute for a first year fiction creative writing class, it’s always pretty hit and miss with the first years, a lot of big fish from high schools where enjoying writing for fun is a stand out, regardless of the quality of writing.

Students were reading bits and pieces of what they had written, one student in particular had been very critical of what others had written, what I would call unfair criticism of decent writing, and had frequently mentioned writing awards she had won at school. It came to her turn.

“Raven Midnight Essence sits at her desk. Her long black hair and green eyes contrast with her oversized Slipknot tshirt, she is wearing seven earrings in her left ear and twelve in her right, she also has a lip ring and an eyebrow ring. Her nails are painted black. She is wearing ripped skinnies and she has a lime green streak in her hair, which compliments her eyes, which are also green. Her hair and eyes are natural and sometimes people think the green is natural too, except sometimes it’s blue. She likes Slipknot and Marilyn Manson the most. She has black lipstick and lots of eyeliner. She’s the most beautiful girl in school, even though the popular girls won’t admit it, they’re jealous of her gothic beauty.

Shakira sat in front of her. Her face covered in makeup to hide her flaws, hair dyed an ugly shade of blonde which matched her ugly pink clothes. She was the most popular girl in school, but was secretly very jealous of Raven’s natural beauty. Even more, she was jealous of Raven’s boyfriend, Draco, the skater boy turned musician who she turned down last year, just before his band signed to a record deal”.

Other student: She said see ya later boy…