Unfiltered Story #361663
(The bus on the way home is packed this particular day circa 2009. As we approach the “express” portion of this particular route, we have one last stop and a sleazy, trashy looking guy about 40 years old carrying a big case of cheap beer struts onto the bus. The only two seats open are the ones next to me and one a few rows up next to a young woman. I’m relieved only momentarily that he chooses to sit next to her, because I can hear the conversation (as can everyone else, they’re the only ones talking on the bus)).
Man: “Hey! Heading home from work?”
Woman: “Yeah.”
Man: “Yeah I don’t have a job right now. Probation officer tells me I gotta hurry up but I dunno I ain’t worried about it.” *cracks open a beer* “Hey is that an iPhone?”
Woman: “Yeah.”
Man: “I found one of those a few weeks ago at a bar. I started looking through the pictures and this girl that owned it was a FREAK, you know? Holy sh–! The stuff on this phone! Well then it started ringing and my buddy was like, ‘answer it man!’ I was like, ‘no way!’ but I did and it was the girl. I told her I had her phone and then she asked me all flirty like if I’d looked at the pictures and I told her I did. I bet she likes that sort of thing. You think she likes that sort of thing?”
(They continued talking–mostly him–with him starting to probe her with invasive questions about where she was going, what she did for a living, etc. She seemed to give minimal answers as it continued for another 5 minutes or so. The woman got off at the next stop with a large exodus of other passengers. Now having the full two seats to himself, he cracked open his second beer and reclined across the seats.)
Man: *to everyone around who could hear him* “Man did you hear what she said? She says it’s her BROTHER, but I guess he’s with her MOM? I dunno, man, sounds kinda crazy. You know?” [no one is looking at or responding to him] “I mean, she said it’s her BROTHER? But, her MOM? That’s some freaky sh–, man.”
(For the record I have no idea what he was referring to. My stop finally came and I made my way to the front of the bus and spoke to the bus driver as I was getting off.)
Me: “Hey I don’t know if you’ve heard that guy sitting 5 rows back this whole time but he’s drinking beer and was harassing other passengers.”
(Driver about jumped out of his seat and looked over his shoulder to check).
Driver: “What?! Ah crap, I’ll take care of it, thanks.”
(My stop was right next to a drive-in burger place and a cop just happened to be sitting right there in the lot. The driver frantically waived the cop over to him as I crossed the street. I walked about a half block in the opposite direction and looked back and the guy was being hauled off the bus in handcuffs.)
(Bonus story: this story was relevant once in conversation while helping a friend move. One of his other friends, who I’d never met before, heard the whole thing and jumped my case.)
Guy: “Oh went and told on a guy, eh? You couldn’t be a f—ing man and confront him yourself? You always tattle and run when someone’s being a jerk?”
Me: “. . . well I think it’s time I grab the rest of those boxes from the garage . . .”
