Unfiltered Story #353538

(My husband and I recently got a set of electric hair clippers. It didn’t make sense to go and spend 8-12 dollars a month to pay someone to just buzz him down to one set length. This happens as I’m getting ready to trim him for the first time.)

Me: Okay, so did you want the #3 or the #2?

Him: Well, summer’s coming up, so probably #2.

Me: Alright, you want it long or short?

Him: What?

Me: It’s got this little adjustment lever here. (I show him, adjusting it back and forth) So, long or short?

Him: Oh, up.

Me: … Up long, or up short!

Him: Just up!

Me: It goes BACK and FORTH not UP and DOWN, which did you want!?

Him: UP!!!

Me: FINE! (I dramatically adjust it to the longest setting)

Him: NO! *grabs it from my hand, swings it back the other way* UP, as in up nearer my scalp!

Me: Nobody on the planet but you would call that ‘up’. Next time when I say ‘long or short’ just pick ‘short’, ok?

(Fortunately, after that bit of drama, it came out perfect. And yes, since then, he says ‘long’ or ‘short’ when I ask him that!)