Unfiltered Story #32858

(We’re auditioning for drum major positions for marching band next year. I’m in charge of recording the whole thing, as to make sure the results can be valid. Since we’re doing it at the back of the school, there’s a bunch of people just hanging around. As one of the girls, a shy and pretty conservative girl wearing shorts due to the weather, one the one groups walks over.)

Student #1: Band is for p******! But hod D***, *points to the Shy Girl* you’re legs are thick as F***!

Me: Seriously dude? We’re having an audition for next year and you’re going to interrupt?

Student #1: What? I’m just telling you the truth, you don’t need to be like those f****** and do band. Do something REAL, like football or some s*** like that.

Student #2: Uh, [Student #1], I think we better leave. There’s gonna be a teacher around here.

Student #1: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

(All of Student’s #1’s friends then proceed to leave while he stays behind and continues to catcall. Finally, the teacher walks over, looking SERIOUSLY stoked.)

Teacher: I want you out of here. There’s two ways this can go, you get suspended for the language you use, or you apologize right here, right now, on camera for all to see.

Student #1: F*** that, old man! You gotta catch me first! *proceeds to sprint off*

Teacher: How long should I wait?

Me: Give or take 3 seconds.

(My band teacher is incredibly fit and is able to run a 5K no sweat. He JUMPS the fence, hear a couple of footsteps, and comes back 3 minutes later with Student #1 in his hands, with a new cut on his face.)

Teacher: Now, you can either get EXPELLED for your behavior, or you can publicly apologize in front of ALL of the band members tomorrow. Which is it?

(He chose the second option.)