Unfiltered Story #32810

(We are in our band class on the last day of school. Due to this, our teacher tells us that we can do whatever we want as long as it isn’t too wild. Some people practice, some people play cards, while my friend and I play on our 3DS’s. There is a a girl in our class who is a bit of a ditz and is not very… aware of it. This occurs in the course of 30 minutes.)

(The ditz said that she had played Super Smash Bros, which is basically a fighting game with Nintendo characters such as Mario, Bowser, Link, have to fight until they get knocked off of a stage, Skeptical, I convince my friend to let her play a round with me. This happens within the first 30 seconds.)

Ditzy Girl: Where’s [Name of a really popular Anime character]?

Friend #1: Uh, that isn’t Nintendo, I hope you know.

Ditzy Girl: WHAT?! She isn’t? *looks bewildered for a couple of seconds* I guess I’ll pick Kirby then, because she’s pink.

Me: Uh, First off, just because a character looks cool, doesn’t mean they’re good. Like, Samus looks bada** as h*** but she’s s***. Second, Kirby’s a BOY.

Ditzy Girl: Then why is he pink?

Me: Why did you think [Popular Anime character] was from Nintendo?

(I beat her flawlessly. This happens when we decide that I’m going to hard on her and we decide to play Mario Kart instead. At this point, a couple of other people join, so we have an 8-way race brawl.)

DS Game Announcer: 3…2…1…Start!

Literally Everyother person: *starts racing*

Ditz: *looks up* How do I start?

*cue many facepalms and stares at her later, she figures it out and comes to the first turn in the race*

Ditz: *violently turns the DS to the side and crashes straight into the wall* Hey! Your DS is broken. I turned it to the right and it still went straight.

Teacher: [Ditz], I hope you know that that’s NOT a Wii.

Ditz: WHAT?1 HOW DID NOBODY TELL ME?

Everyone: BECAUSE WE THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

(When we are all discussing our favorite instrument and why)

Classmate #1: I like the trombones because they sound like a slidey fart horn.

Classmate #2: I like the tuba because they are the foundation of the band

Ditz: I like the thing that goes beep. It sounds really easy and I want to learn how to play it like how [Teacher] does.

Me: Thats… called… a metronome? The thing that keeps you in time and stuff?

(Worst part is, she’s in high school right now with me and she wants to take Computer Science. Good luck)