Unfiltered Story #32797

(I was at boarding school when I was 16. I got called to the Headmistress’ office. She places in front of me a flier from a popular p*rnographic magazine that was addressed to me offering one free magazine.)

HM: (visibly upset) “What is this all about?”

(I immediately notice a very specific misspelling of my last name that only a popular CD catalogue company uses for me)

Me: “Well I don’t know why they’d offer a 16 year old a p*rn magazine, but it looks like they managed to get my address from [CD company]”

(She’s not entirely convinced I’m being forthcoming and grills me further until she’s somewhat convinced I’m innocent)

HM: “Okay, well check the box you don’t want the magazine and I’ll send it off.”

(I check the box in front of her and she keeps it mail it off personally. About a week later I’m called back to her office.)

HM: (Tosses p*rn mag in front of me that is sealed in unopened plastic wrap addressed to me and the same misspelling) “What the hell  [my name]?!”

Me: “Look. I checked the box right in front of you! You mailed it off! I couldn’t legally get this even if I wanted to! Do you really think I’d be stupid enough to try knowing my mail has to go through faculty before it gets yo me?!”

(Again not convinced grills me further and finally let’s me go back to class. Some months later I was getting in to a lot if trouble, unrelated, and I was being expelled. The process takes a few days as I’m away from home, they have me hanging out in a small office by myself to keep me away from the rest of the student body. The vise-Headmistress comes in at some point, with the same mag, still unopened.)

VMS: (plops mag in front of me) “Want to tell me about this?”

(Not sure why they kept this and what it really mattered given the circumstances. But I explained exactly what I told the HM. It seemed to convince her and she tossed the mag in the trash and left. I was alone for hours reading a book and I decided to pull the mag out of the trash. Browsed it, had a good wank, used a page to clean up, carefully placed it back in the packaging the offered to take the trash out. Shortly thereafter I was on train ride home.)