Unfiltered Story #32777

(In middle school, I had a health teacher who looked like a gentleman: old, had glasses, neat gray hair, and a tweed suit every day with a cane, walking with a slight limp. He was a bit short, around 5’5″, and wasn’t imposing at all. His voice is slightly scruffy and monotone, but mostly everyone respects him. One day we’re learning about drugs.)

Teacher: Alright class, so if anyone were to offer you any drugs, like so…

(All of a sudden, he sets his cane against his desk, drops into what I can only call a “thug” pose, and says with a gangsta accent:)

Teacher: ‘Ey my man want soma dis??

(All the students were shocked as he got back up, got his cane, and continued teaching. Rare but similar moments happen later in the year.)

(I’m in high school now, and the same health teacher has transferred to the high school. My friend and I often walk past him standing in front of his door when we go to our math class. My friend is very talkative, annoying, and can sometimes be cruel without knowing it. One day we were reminiscing on how much more of a dick he was in middle school.)

Me: …and remember that time when I kicked you in the crotch?

(Just as I say this, we pass the health teacher, and he mutters something under his breath. My friend suddenly looks impressed and is laughing.)

Friend: Teacher! Oh my god!

Me: What? What’d he say?

Friend: “Kick him again!”