Unfiltered Story #32512

Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Unfiltered | October 19, 2016

Me and a friend are doing a group project with another girl. We have certain deadlines we need to meet, ones made in the group, as well as those made by the teacher. The other girl is always late with her work, always finding excuses for it. Both me and my friend get quite angry about it together, but I’m the only one vocal about it. On top of that, she also asks us to do part of the project that we had decided she’d do, because it she’s ‘done too much work already’. It gets to the point where we ask for the teacher to meet with the three of us. Note that i have Asperger’s syndrome and as such sometimes have a bit of difficulty getting out what i want to say. The girl apparently senses a weak link in me, as she blames all our trouble on me.

Girl: and you are constantly going off against me, while i have done nothing wrong. I did all this work and then you don’t do your part (this is a straight up lie, as I did my part, but she is referring to the part that she tried to push on us)

Me; So it is my fault that we’re having problems. Sure. That’s why when me and (friend) did projects together, everything went fine, but you get in the project and suddenly I screw things up? I’m not the one constantly late!

*at this point I start tearing up in frustration, as I sometimes do, annoyingly as it is*

Teacher; What is the problem, why are you crying?

Me: *trying to explain it but failing*

Teacher; There’s nothing to cry about…

Me; Sometimes I just have difficulty finding the right words, especially when I get angry… due to my Asperger’s syndrome.

At this point the teacher looks as if he understands everything and he takes me away from the group a bit.

Teacher: I think I understand what is going on here. I think it’s best you do the rest of the project on your own. You will need to learn how to work in groups though, as you’ll need that for the rest of your career. Your Asperger’s syndrome doesn’t excuse you from that.

This only makes me more angry and sad, as I realise she is getting no repercussions and I get to do the project on my own…

This is not the end of the story though… 2 days before the deadline my friend tells me how the rest of their project went. They decided to meet every day the last week of the project to finish it, as they were behind quite a bit. However, every single day she finds an excuse. One time she overslept so bad it was no use coming, the next day she couldn’t come because of her sick dad needing help, the day after that she missed the train and decided not to come, the following day she couldn’t come because her hay fever was getting to her too much (I knew this was a lie and he did too as we both have hay fever too and knew this was the day this was causing the least amount of problems of the whole week…) and the last day she didn’t even give an excuse. Finally she mailed him ‘her piece’ which had almost nothing he could use and no sources whatsoever, so he had to do all the work himself. She even dared to ask him not to work too hard on it as she wanted a 9 (!!!) (with 10 being the highest grade in the dutch grading system) on the resit. You could do this resit if your grade was a 5.5 or below, although 5.5 was still a passing grade. The kicker was… I got a 5.5 and decided not to do the resit but because of my friend’s hard work they got a 6… and couldn’t do the resit, even though she asked him to ask anyways, as she said the 6 pulled her average down…

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