Unfiltered Story #32312

(We are all at lunch when our principal comes up to us. Note: it’s about 2 weeks from the sweetheart dance at our school)

my friend: oh no not again…he does this every dance…

me: does what?

principle: *approaches us* SWEETHEART IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND MR. [PRINCIPAL’S NAME]’S DATING SERVICE IS NOW OPEN, WHO DOESN’T HAVE A DATE!?

everyone: *points to two of my friends and then to me*

principal: *turns to me* YOU DON’T HAVE A DATE

me: no sir

principal: DO NOT FRET, I’LL FIND YOU A DATE! NOW WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A GUY?

me: someone taller than me?

principal: Amazing! What about [points to guy friend]

everyone: HE HAS A GIRL FRIEND

principal: so?

everyone: YOU CAN’T DO THAT

principal: trust me, by the end of the week, I’ll have you the perfect day

me: thanks…?

(I ended up getting a date without his ‘dating service’, I who he would have picked)