Unfiltered Story #313253

I’m sitting at my desk, reading NAR as I munch my sandwich, when my cellphone rings. The caller ID gives a surname the same as a former coworker (who might be using a relative’s phone or something?) so I answer with “Hello?”

I hear a pre-recorded message from the local gas & electric company telling me that my power is about to be cut off and that, if I don’t want that to happen, I should press 1 to speak to someone. As I work from home, I can’t afford to have that happen, so I press 1.

Caller: This is Tom, how can I help you?

Me (overly enthusiastic): Hi, Tom! How ya doing?!

Tom: Fine, thank you for asking. How may I help you?

Me: I got a call saying that my power was going to be cut off and I can’t have that!

Tom: What is the address on the account?

Me: 1 – 2 – 3… Sesame… Street

Tom: And the name on the account?

Me: Oscar… Grouch

Tom: I see that we have not received payment for 2 months on this account and your balance is $385.21.

After I pretended to misunderstand the amount, he offered to trade his – ahem – manhood in my posterior for the balance and then, when I suggested that was an interesting proposition, he hung up.

I don’t know how to get in touch with him, but someone oughta head over to Sesame Street and let Oscar the Grouch know the power to his trash can is about to be cut off.