Unfiltered Story #300978

I was stationed on Guam in the early eighties and was assigned to a self help crew. We got all the unpleasant jobs such as painting, brush clearing etc. One day we were assigned to clear weeds from around the target frames at the pistol range. We loaded tools into the truck and headed to the range, which was located at the edge of the ‘boonies’, a term used for the jungle areas on the island. We all piled out of the truck and grabbed tools to start work when a guy we called ‘Hollywood’ threw a fit. ‘Hollywood’, (imagine your typical pretty boy who was lite on the brains and really stuck on himself), was melting down because someone had grabbed the hoe ( the gardening tool, not the person of negotiable affection) he had placed in the truck. “That’s my hoe,” he nearly screamed, “I put it in the truck so I could use it, you can’t just take my hoe.” This continued for a few more minutes and, rather than have to listen to ‘Hollywood’ whining about a hoe that was exactly like all the other hoes, but was slightly newer and therefore shinier, the guy who had the hoe gave it to ‘Hollywood’ and grabbed an older hoe. ‘Hollywood’, having gotten his way strutted away and began clearing weeds from around a target frame. I have to explain that one of the hazards of Guam are small, very aggressive wasps, which are called Boonie Bees, so you will understand what happened next. ‘Hollywood’ suddenly dropped the hoe and stated screaming and we all turned look at him in surprise. ‘Hollywood’ was just standing perfectly still and screaming. When we asked what was wrong he screamed “BOONIE BEES!” Realizing that he was being stung by the aggressive insects, but wasn’t running away, we all shouted “Run, you idiot.” ‘Hollywood” began running away and people began to shout advice
Coworker #1: Get in the cab of the truck so they can’t get you.
Coworker #2: Run zig zag so they can’t sting you.
Coworker #3: Just keep running and they’ll quit and go back to the nest.
Me: (with a huge grin on my face) Hey, you forgot your hoe.
When I was later called out for my comment I replied “Hey, that hoe seemed important to him.”