Unfiltered Story #297303

Coworker: “We’re gonna ham it up. And if that cheeses off any of these turkeys who are full of bologna, we’ll have a beef. Unless they’re too chicken.”

(He sees me rubbing my temples and turning red.)

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Trying to manifest a pack of ravenous wolves out of the f***ing ether.”