Unfiltered Story #293002

While channel-flipping on TV, my family comes across a game show we’ve never heard of before, based entirely on questions about the Bible. It should be noted that my entire family is Christian, I have only ever attended Christian schools, and have been attending Sunday school once a week for even longer than that. I’m still a pint-sized elementary schooler.

Show Host: “Which tribe did God ordain to be priests?”

Me: “The Levites!”

Contestant #1: “Danites.”

Host: “Incorrect. The correct answer is the Levites.”

Me: “Come on! That was easy!”

Host: “[Contestant #2], it’s your turn. Who from the book of Judges killed King Elgon?”

Me: “Ehud! He snuck in a sword by being left-handed and stuck the sword in his stomach but King Elgon was so fat that the fat closed around the sword!”

Contestant #2: “Ehud.”

Host: “Correct! Now, [Contestant #3], Jesus is sometimes referred to as the Lion of BLANK.”

Me: “Judah! He was the Lion of Judah because Mary and Joseph were both from the tribe of Judah!”

Contestant #3: “Israel?”

Host: “Incorrect. The correct answer was Judah.”

As far as I know, I got every single question right and grew frustrated with the contestants when they answered incorrectly. My family is staring.

Me: “I learned this all in like third grade!”

Dad: “Maybe she should be a contestant.”

Mom: “She’d clear out their bank!”

I never tried to get on the game show, but for as long as I attended Christian education, everyone wanted me on their team whenever we had a Bible trivia game.