Unfiltered Story #285358

Customer: “A half-pound of [rival brand] turkey, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry that.”

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t carry it? This is a deli and you have no turkey?!”

Me: “I mean, we don’t carry [rival brand]. We have [our brand] products.”

Customer: “What kind of [rival store] doesn’t have [rival brand]?!”

Me: “We’re not [rival store].”

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re not [rival store]?”

Me: “This is [my store].”

Customer: “Exactly! [My store] is [rival store]!”

Me: “No, [my store] is [my store]. [Rival store] is [rival store].”

Customer: “I know you have it in the back!”

Me: “I assure you that we do not.”

Customer: “Yes you do! You’re saving it for the white folks ’cause you’re a racist!”

Me: “Ooookay then, have a nightmarishly wonderful day.”