Unfiltered Story #285290

[I’m a tiny guy, about five-foot-two and maybe 100 pounds soaking wet. My girlfriend is a foot taller than me and about 200 pounds of solid muscle. I’m very non-confrontational, to the point of not even using swear words. As a huge fan of the Tintin series, I use “Haddockisms” instead. My GF, on the other hand, has a hair-trigger temper and a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush. We’re standing around one day in the park, holding hands and quietly enjoying being together, when a macho jerk of the type who thinks he’s God’s gift to women strides over towards us.]

Jerk: “Hey, babe, wanna ditch the wimp and come home with me?”

Girlfriend: “F*** off, @$$hole.”

Me: “I wouldn’t cross her, you abecedarian.”

Jerk: “Ah, you have to show her who’s in charge.”

Me: “She’s in charge. I strongly recommend you leave, you ostrogoth.”

Girlfriend: “Get the f*** away before I rip your d*** off and stuff it down your throat.”

[She lets go of my hand, freeing both her hands for action.]

Jerk: “What if I don’t leave? What are you gonna do about it, wimp?”

Me: “Nothing.”

[The jerk strides over and grabs a good handful of my girlfriend’s ass. She punches him in the chest, hard, and as he doubles over, she gives him a powerful kick right in the jewels. He collapses on the ground, whimpering and moaning.]

Me: “She can take care of it herself.”

[I bought her a ring a few months later. We’re happily married to this day.]