Unfiltered Story #28512

USA | Unfiltered | August 22, 2017

(I’m a trans guy, which means that people often mistake me for female. I try to just correct them and move on, especially since I finally have a supportive friend group. However, this interaction on an already stressful day sticks out. The girl in this story is one I don’t know well, but have already corrected on my gender once. In the time I’ve known her, she’s been crass and vulgar to try to get a reaction, even when others seem ambivalent or uncomfortable. Note that the friend in this story is “fake married” to me (long story) and we’re both bi, but he currently has a girlfriend.)

Girl: “… So YOU,” *pointing to me* “have plenty of sex with your boyfriend.”

(I assumed she got “boyfriend” from the fake relationship with my male friend.)

Girl: “… And you,” *pointing to friend* “have plenty of sex with your girlfriend!” *Points to me*

Me: “Um, I’m a boy. My name’s [Definitely Male Name].”

Girl: *Blank look*

Me: “I thought we went over this?”

Girl: “Um, okay, so YOU,” *pointing to friend* “have plenty of sex with, uh, he/she.”

(I already had a lot going on today and didn’t feel like playing advocate. I left the cafeteria. A few minutes later a different friend came to check on me. She had told the girl to call me “he” after I left, to which the girl apparently responded that she sometimes “weirded people out” or that they couldn’t handle her. If the girl had apologized, I would’ve been fine, but she didn’t see anything wrong with what she said. There’s a difference between being “quirky” and “weird” and just being rude.)

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  • Leiko Burningbear

    Cafeteria…..High School? College?
    Seems like the sort of things an oblivious/insecure teenager would say to get attention and push boundaries. Hopefully the girl eventually realizes that “being weird” for the sake of “being weird” will win her no friends, especially if she’s rude as well. Natural weirdness and good manners is a much better combination.

    • Lou Miller

      Businesses also have cafeteria’s. When I worked for Cigna Insurance they not only had a cafeteria, you could order a meal to order. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

      • Leiko Burningbear

        What I said still stands, even if it’s a business cafeteria and not a school. I’m thinking teenagers because of the “fake married” thing, as well as the general immaturity of the girl. Granted they could be much older, but the story “feels” like teens/early twenties.

        • Abiostudent3

          Don’t forget the obsession over the notion that two people are doing “plenty” of it. Between that and the “quirkiness,” it’s clearly high school. Probably young high school.

          • S123

            I wouldn’t say “clearly”, but they’re certainly acting like an immature teen.

  • Rachel Schmachel

    If people “can’t handle you”, it’s because you’re rude.

  • Bizar_re

    What is “fake married”? I’m genuinely curious.

    • Leiko Burningbear

      I think “fake married” is more of a running in-joke thing between friends.

      To give an example that may or may not be relevant…
      In High School, I had some friendly-acquaintance types I’d hang with sometimes. We had a running joke that one was Parent A and one was Parent B and that I was their Kid. Fake family.

      • Bizar_re

        Thanks 🙂 It was still early and I began to wonder if it is some new type of a relationship common amongst teens in US that I, being over 30 and in Europe, am unaware of.

        • Gabby Signs

          It is. For example, my friend is my mom and her children are my siblings

    • MadHighlander

      I think it’s just a joke, like how I married a rice krispie square in elementary school.

  • Zeus

    I think I would have preferred to hear the story of why they are “fake married”. Anyone else?

  • Kitty

    Hey, just cause you have a gendered name does not mean you are that gender if you are transgender. For all the kid knew, you might have started transitioning because of your feminine looks.

    Not everybody will instantly know what gender you prefer to be referred to as. And it’s not like your gender issue is anybody’s business except your own (and any partner you might eventually have). I know it was a bad day, but get over it.

    • Rey Mehlhorn

      The story explicitly states they had already corrected this girl on their gender pronouns in the past.

      • Kitty

        Yes, but if they haven’t learned it by, at least, the second or third time, you stop bothering. Last resort, start calling them by the wrong pronoun; maybe that’ll go through their thick skull.

  • Paul Nieuwkamp

    Misgender that girl from now on, see how he likes that…

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