Unfiltered Story #28499

This story occurs when I am five years old. My mom has taken me to the toy store to buy a toy for my birthday.

Me: “I like this unicorn, Mom, can I have it?”

Mom: “Sure! Let’s go pay for it.”

At this point an old lady struts up to us and starts talking to my mom in a condescending tone.

Mean old lady: “You can’t buy that for a little boy! It’s PINK! Pink toys are for GIRLS!” *snatches the unicorn out of my hands.*

Mom: “Now, see here –”

Me: “Mommy, I’ll handle this.” *turns to face the old lady* “Madam, it seems obvious that you are unaware of the latest research in child development, which clearly indicates that young children benefit from a healthy interest in testing the limits of gender stereotypes. Also, it may have escaped your attention that the use of pink as a ‘girl’ color is a fairly recent Western social construct and is not grounded in any general cross-cultural patterns of human behavior.”

Mean old lady: *starts to sputter and protest* “I am CERTAINLY not going to let a little child talk to me that –”

Me: *holding up one finger* “Madam, please; I am still speaking. At any rate, I identify as gender-fluid, so even if pink really were legitimately a ‘girl’ color, there would be no basis for applying that stereotype to me. Allow me to conclude by encouraging you to educate yourself on these matters so that you may examine and correct your flawed and bigoted preconceptions. Now, goodbye.” *I take another unicorn off the shelf* “Mommy, let’s go.”

Mean old lady: “Why you little… you… AAAAGHHHH!!!!!!”

At this point the old lady loses it and starts running through the aisles of the store screaming “PINK IS FOR GIRLS! PINK IS FOR GIRRRRLLLLS!!!” and punching and knocking down every pink toy within her reach, then tries to light a pile of pink toys on fire. The police and the fire department are called. The police subdue the old lady and take her outside in handcuffs. The manager comes out to apologize to us personally, and I am given a free “cart dash” through the store; I fill my cart with pink toys. As my mom and I are heading to the car with all the free pink toys, the mean old lady sees us from the back seat of a police car and starts pounding her head against the window, knocking herself cold.

We later heard that when she eventually went to trial, she tried to act as her own attorney, insulted the judge, and got thrown in jail for contempt of court, where she remains to this day.