Unfiltered Story #28452

(I am babysitting a four-year-old boy. We’re playing trick-or-treat, and he wanted to be the “candy person”. Note: I am a girl.)

Me: Trick or treat!

Boy: Only if you say please!

Me: Trick or treat! May I please have some candy?

Boy: Actually, it’s for boys only.

Me: Boys only? Why? That’s not fair, is it?

Boy: (Proudly) Boys only because you have a penis and I don’t.

Me: Hmm, I thought it was the other way around.

Boy: Well then its boys only because I have a penis and you don’t!

Me: But that isn’t a good reason. Girls should be able to do anything boys can do, right? Because we’re all people.

Boy: Yeah! Okay, here’s your candy! (Suddenly shocked) WAIT! If you don’t have a penis, what do you have?

Me: Okay, let’s not do the anatomy lesson today.

Boy: Anatomy? What’s that?

Me: It’s like… where all the stuff in your body is.

Boy: I know where Oregon is! But Oregon isn’t on your body, right [My name]?

Me: No, but do you want to show me Oregon?

Boy: Yeah!

(He skips off singing, “Ladies and boysies are all people-ies, and they can all go to Oregon!” Gotta love toddlers.)