Unfiltered Story #28280

(My parents and I are in the car driving to a buffet. We’re all talking about the 2016 election and we all hate a certain candidate. While we are discussing said candidate, my father receives a call from out of state. When no one answers, we come to the conclusion that they are telemarketers. Since he is driving, I take it upon myself to answer back if his phone rings. While we’re waiting for the call, we discuss about what the hated candidate would say if on the phone. Eventually, my mother’s phone rings instead and lo and behold, it is an out-of-state call. She hands it to me and this is what I say.)

Me: *trying to keep a straight voice and stumbling a bit in the beginning* You have reached the private number of Hillary Clinton. If you would like to make a donation to the Clinton Foundation, press 1. If you would like to make a donation to Bill Clinton Incorporated, press 2. If none of these situations apply to you, then F*** OFF!

(My parents and I shared a good laugh after that.)