Unfiltered Story #28274

(A close friend and I are both writers, and we often talk about our characters, plots, and whatnot. We also live in different countries, and so most of our conversations take place online – usually Facebook messenger.)

Me: *finishes explaining the not-so-happy ending of a story I’m writing*

Friend: At least it’s definitive!

Me: Yea, it is. It’s evil, though.

Friend: Oh, definitely. Gosh, we’re writers – of course we’re evil! It all makes sense.

Me: True. It comes in the job description: – must be able to build up and nourish the hopes and dreams of Readers, before utterly and entirely decimating it, all with a genuine smile of glee on their faces, and without the slightest trace of remorse. It’s sub-clause 2 of requirement 6.

Friend: Explains why GRRM [an author famous for ruthlessly killing off main characters in cruel and shocking ways] is so popular!

Me: Yea, he’s the pioneer of the rule. Gosh, [friend], didn’t you read the contract you signed?

Friend: Ah, of course! *pauses, then sends another message* Ah crap. Section 8.5 says we sold our souls so we don’t feel remorse.

Me: Wait, didn’t 8.5.1 clarify that it was an OPTIONAL selling, and that as long as we are able to do it, we can keep our soul? Or did I misread that?

Friend: Man I really need to learn to read the fine print more. I skim farrrrr too much

Me: That’s fine; I only found out because I really wanted to keep my soul when the Collector came knocking. So, I read the contract cover to cover to ensure I had a way out.

Friend: I have [ridiculously psychopathic character of hers] as a character. I think I’m fine.

Me: Yea, you definitely are. *pauses, then sends another message* One of these days, we really should write out an actual contract for writers, just for kicks.

Friend: Like a really long one, too.

Me: Yup. #WriterContract

(We agreed to write it once her exams are over. Keep a look out for it! :P)