Unfiltered Story #281747

(My husband and I are laying in bed. It’s nearing midnight on a work night, and we both have work early in the morning, but both of us are wide awake.)

Me: “Ugh, why can’t I sleep like a normal person?”
Husband: “Because you’re not a normal person.”
Me (adjusting and finding a specific stuffed animal in an uncomfortable spot): “I’m gonna hit you with a porg.” (I swing the porg in his direction, landing it on his leg)
Husband: “That. That right there is why you can’t sleep like a normal person. Because you’re not one.”
Me: “Hitting you with a porg makes me not normal?”
Husband: “Yes.”
Me: :Fair.”