Unfiltered Story #28106

(I am at a friend’s house and he is showing me a video game of his. He just told me how you can have the main character have sex with all the other characters on the ship, including the robot and except for the Vice President. I’m still trying to process this when he has the main character go around and “romance” a few of the characters, including the robot, to show me how everyone reacts, what his character says to them, and ecetera. I’m still processing and trying to figure out what the hell the game writers and designers were smoking when he also decides to show me that when you change the character’s outfit, you can have him be nude.)

Me: “…What…?”

Friend: “Yeah. You can go streaking, too.”

Me: “???”

Friend: “And you get money and XP for it.”

Me: “what?!”

Friend: “And respect points. And respect is how you level up in the game.”

Me: *mentally broken at this point* “……What?”

(His mom calls him and he answers.)

Friend: “Hey, mom. I think I broke (my name). I showed her how in my game, you can go streaking and make money by doing it. I wish it were that way in the real world.”

Me: “Well, you can, like if you gamble on it. Say someone tells you they’ll give you $50 to go streaking down to (nearby gas station) and back.”

Friend: “Hey, I’d do it. Just walk nonchalantly down there.”

Me: “You’d have to sprint so they don’t catch you.”

Friend: “I don’t care, I’d still do it, just walk down. Just imagine the reactions of the cops. Like ‘oh, wow, someone is actually streaking. What do I do here, do I arrest them or something?'”

Me: “Well, considering public nudity is an offense, you would get arrested.”

Friend: “It depends on the cop. Like say I have a raging boner while I’m doing it and it’s a female cop. And she’s horny.”

Me: *broken again* “……What…..?”