Unfiltered Story #28074

I need to give a little background for this story. There was a toy store in the mall that had a great system for Black Friday. They would stack up the isles so that they formed one long, narrow corridor running from the front of the store to the single register at the end. There was no way to pass the person in front of you and since there was only one register, you had no choice but to wait your turn to check out. Logically most people would realize that it would make no sense to crowd the person in front of you in line since no matter what you do you’re still next.

So my brother and I were out shopping for gifts for his kids. He had a seriously sour stomach and had been letting out these foul belches all morning. Due to the cramped space in the store he was holding them in while we were in line. He went ahead of me and behind me was this little, middle aged woman. She grabbed something in a big box and spent half the time we were in the store bumping it into my back. I would pause to grab an item and get bumped. I asked her politely to back up a bit. I pointed out she was still next and trying to rush me wouldn’t get her through any faster. Just the same, every time I paused I got bumped.
Everything finally came to a head when we were halfway through the store and I turned around to grab something I’d just passed. As soon as I turned back she flat out RAMMED into my back with her box. I spun around and snarled, “Lady BACK OFF!” She grudgingly took half a step back and I knew she planned on prodding and ramming the rest of the way out. I was griping about this to my brother when he said, “Bend over and act like you’re getting something from the bottom shelf there.” He then turned his head and let out the most vile, yet strangely quiet, belch I’ve ever experienced. It smelled like sulfur, death, and something that crawled straight out of Satan’s bowels and it just lingered in the air above me. I quickly moved past the wall of stench and turned around to see miss impatient’s reaction.

It was glorious. You could actually see the exact moment she hit the wall of stench. She recoiled like someone had slapped her and gagged so hard I thought she was gonna vomit. She then took several steps back into the person behind her and stared at us with a horrified expression. My brother turned to me smiling and said, “You’re welcome.” Thet woman didn’t get within six feet of me the rest of the way through the store.