Unfiltered Story #28035

(My sister’s boyfriend of the time wants to make a zombie movie. Despite having a fear of zombies, and having never handled a gun before in my life, I agree to play a main character. Largely because I take writing very seriously, and he needed someone to save his script.)

Sister’s boyfriend: Alright, zombie 1 is going to come shambling at us. I’ll punch her, and knock her down. Since you’re the only person with a gun right now, you come running over and shoot her. You should stand over her and shoot her in the head.

Me: ….Why?

Sister’s boyfriend: So you can make sure she’s dead.

Me: I have a gun! I’m not going to run up to her before shooting her, I’ll get bit! I’m keeping my distance. I’ll shoot her from here. I can check her after she’s been shot.

Sister’s boyfriend: Oh, yeah. I guess that does make sense.

Me: Once I’ve shot her, what are we doing?

Sister’s boyfriend: Zombie 2 is going to come chasing (friend) over that hill, and we’re all going to go hide in that pavilion. We’ll loose sight of him in the dark, and then when he pops up, you run towards him. Go around these picnic tables and shoot him from about a foot away.

(The kicker? He’s in the military and claims gunmanship is second nature to him!)