Unfiltered Story #27995

I’ve known my best friend for ages and for fun I decided to ask the Zombie question from Not Always Romantic.

Me: What would you do if I turned into a zombie?

Her: Well, since you live in Texas, it probably wouldn’t effect me too much as long as you could still text in your zombified state. If you were here I would probably get your teeth removed and keep you as a pet for entertainment.

Me: I highly doubt the undead care much about technology. … And as long as you feed me soft brains I should be ok. I can’t eat Brain Kibble with no teeth.

Her: Yeah. Lol. You can have soft stuff.

Me: Brainsssssss! I need [her dogs name] brainssssss!

Her: No [dogs name] brains for you.

Me: Boo!

Her: I expect you to be putting this whole thing on not always friendly.

Me: Why do you think I asked in the first place??

Her:Lol. I assumed that was your purpose. …Also, just for the record, if Zombies aren’t interested in technology, you just aren’t allowed to become one. …So I hereby deny you permission to be near infected people if a zombie outbreak ever occurs.

Me: I’ll do my best but there’s no guarantees.