Unfiltered Story #279609

Me: “Hello, IT. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my cup holder is broken!”

(Wait… I remember this joke. Is this a prank call? Is someone quoting a tired old line to me?)

Me: “….Ah, I’m sorry, did you say your cup holder is broken?”

Customer: “Yup.”

(Please tell me this is just a stupid joke. Please tell me this is not SERIOUSLY happening…)

Me: “…Your computer has a cupholder?”

Customer: “Yeah – I push the button, and it pops out. It’s not very sturdy though!”

(Oh god, it’s not a joke. This person is dead serious.)

Me: “…………”

The calls were recorded. I couldn’t tell them that they were too stupid to own a computer. So, with the delicate diplomatic finesse of a foreign dignitary trying to negotiate a treaty, I spent at least an hour explaining the function of a CD ROM and how it’s not meant to hold drinks.

Blessed be, I not only got the person to understand, but I managed to impart that they needed to fork over actual money to replace the CD ROM because the damage was their fault and not covered by warranty.

I don’t know whether they did or not, but I immediately went on a break after the call and just sat there with my face buried in my hands. People think these stories are jokes, or that we make them up. Nope. ALL of the stupid nonsense you’ve ever read and thought ‘people can’t REALLY be that dumb’…yes, they can. I’ve taken that call.