Unfiltered Story #27910

(For context, friend 1 and i are female frequently lurk around tumblr (the site where minorities bash white, straight, cis people) while friend 2 is male and lurks on 4chan (the site where everyone is racist, sexist, ableist and has some kind of illicit p*rn or gore files). we’re explaining tumblr’s sexualities to him.

Me: and pansexual is when you dont care about gender and you want to bone a person; or romance them, if you’re asexual

friend 2: (perplexed) isn’t that bisexual?

me: no, no, bisecual is when you like two or more genders, not all of them

friend 2: but aren’t the only sexes male and female?

me: those are biological sexes, we’re talking about gender. Like, for example, friend 1 is biologically female but is a demi-girl

friend 2: *dramatically puts a hand on his chest* the fuck is that!?

friend 1: it means i’m basically half female; i dont feel like a female at all

me: nor she feels the need to romance or fuck another person, because she’s asexual and aromantic

friend 2: *fakes a light heart attack* oh god…

friend 1: no, actually you said i was autochorissexual because i liked p*rn but didnt liked the idea of doing the p*rn

friend 2: *looks like he’s about to pass out* aw naw! this tumblr special snowflake thing is killing me!

me: *snickering* and hang on, because im actually panromantic and bisexual! yes! you can mix and match them

(friend 2 fakes a seizure while friend 1 and i laugh our asses off)

friend 2: you and your fucking snowflake fake sexualities…

me: you and your cheap gory p*rn…