Unfiltered Story #27901

My friend, who is studying to become a teacher, suggests joining her on a trip to London. Once I’m there, I realize so is an entire school class and half of their parents, meaning this is going to be one boring trip from hell. The last evening, I demand to do fun stuff for adults for once, going to the roughest night club I could find online. She is scared to go there with me (18 and female), so procures a chaperone at the very last moment, a 37-year-old father. A couple of minutes after we have arrived at the club, the following happens:

Chaperone: *horrified* “I just got asked if I want to buy drugs in the restroom.”

Me: *cheerily, since I really don’t like the unwelcome addition* “Cool! So what have you brought us?”

Chaperone: *indignantly* “How dare you! Other than both of you, I don’t do harmful and dangerous things like drugs! I am a good role model for my children!” *knocks down his hard liquor and lights a cigarette*

Friend: *defensively, gasping for air* “I’ve never even tried drugs!”

Me: *to friend, ignoring the chaperone* “Oh, I haven’t either. I just had to assume this was what you got us the sleazy old guy for.”

Needless to say, this was the last trip we ever took together.