Unfiltered Story #274272

Super cheerful front desk via phone: “Good morning! [Clinic name] Clinic! How can I help?”

Me: “Hi, I need to reschedule an appointment. Can I speak with [Doctor #1]’s appointments?”

Front desk: *confused but still cheerful* “I’m sorry. Which doctor?”

Me: “[Doctor #1].”

Front desk: “…I’m sorry?”

Me: *enunciating, but trying not to be insulting* “[Doctor… #… 1].”

Front desk. *now sad and confused* “Oh. We don’t have a [Doctor #1].”

Me: “…What? They said I had an appointment with him!” *thinking fast* “Ordinarily, I see [Doctor #2]; it’s just he’s off right now. Maybe I’m under his name?”

Front desk: “Hmm.” *super cheerful again* “How about I look you up by your birthdate?”

Me: “Sure. It’s [birthdate].”

Front desk: *tippy typey* “And can I have your name?”

Me: “It’s [name].”

Front desk: “Hmm… and your appointment is for [correct date and time]?”

Me: “Yup. I just can’t make it, so I have to reschedule.”

Front desk: “I see you here for [Doctor #3, whose name doesn’t sound anything like Doctor #1’s or Doctor #2’s]…”

Me: “I… guess? I must’ve misheard. I can’t believe I somehow got [Doctor #3] out of [Doctor #1]!”

Front desk: *sympathetic laugh* “Oh, no, clearly someone told you [Doctor #1]. I heard you and I thought, clearly she’s heard that somewhere. Anyway, I’ll transfer you up to [Doctor #3]’s bookings.”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

Front desk: “No problem!”

*hold…*

Bookings office: *spiel too fast for me to catch*

Me: “Um, hi. I have an appointment with [Doctor #3] that I need to reschedule.”

Bookings: “I’m sorry, which doctor?”

Me: “[Doctor #3].”

Bookings: *confused* “[Doctor #3]?”

Me: “Um, that’s what I was told…”

Bookings: “Can I get your name and birthdate?”

Me: “Sure. It’s [name] and [birthdate].”

Bookings: *tippy typey* “And you want to cancel?”

Me: “Reschedule.”

Bookings: *tippy typey* “I see. You’re with the resident instead of the doctor. Is that all right or do you want to see the doctor?”

Me: “Honestly, I just need a blood screening for iron deficiency. If the resident can handle that, I’m fine with whichever one I can see sooner.”

Bookings: “All right. Do you have any [list of Coronavirus symptoms]?”

Me: “No.”

Bookings: *tippy typey* “Okay. Does [new date and time, Monday instead of Friday] work?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Bookings: “All right. You’re in at [new date and time] with [supposedly nonexistent Doctor #1]. We’ll see you then.”

Me: *extra confused because I’ve used this clinic for 16 years without a hitch* “…Thanks.”

Me, thinking after hanging up: I must tell my husband.

Me, after texting him: I must tell Not Always Right.