Unfiltered Story #270261

I have an elderly aunt who absolutely loves matchmaking: however many of her matches end up bad for the woman in the relationship. She introduced my mother to my father when my mother was 14 and my father was 22. My mother had me when she was 16 and my father was 24. My father was an alcoholic who abused her for many years. This story happens when I am 16 and she tries to fix me up with a mentally handicapped 26 year old man.

Elderly Aunt: (to me), I have the perfect guy for you! His name is Adam and he volunteers at my senior center. He is such a nice young man! He helps his mother every day!

She brings this “nice young man” to a family function and I immediately realize that he is far below my level of functioning. He does not have a driver’s license, does not have a job, is on social security disability and he still lives with his mother.

Elderly Aunt: (tries to put my hand in “nice young man’s” hand) You two need to go somewhere private so you can talk about getting into a relationship so “nice young man” can finally get married.

Me: (trying to be discrete) Are you insane? He is 10 years older than me and we are not at the same level of functioning! I am a junior in high school on the honor roll, I have an after school job and I just got my driver’s license! I have nothing in common with him! DO NOT push me into a relationship like you did with my mother!

Elderly Aunt: But I promised him that you would marry him! He has had so many women dump him because of his disability! You have issues of your own that a lot of boys wouldn’t want to date you for!

For the record, I attended a small charter high school for kids that were bullied or had issues such as Aspergers, bipolar, anxiety, etc. At the time, I had been diagnosed with Aspergers and PTSD that was caused by watching my father abusing my mother. Aside from being quirky and suffering from anxiety, I functioned at an above average intellectual level and led a relatively normal life.

Me: (Aunt) why are you so hung up on fixing me up with this guy? Don’t you realize that I am currently in an online relationship/friendship with the older brother of one of my classmates who has been in the Navy for the past year? I have no interest in (nice young man)!

Elderly Aunt: But you need to date someone who lives here! You can’t be in a silly online relationship with a man who is on a ship six months out of the year!

At the time I am just testing the water with relationships in general and my friend in the Navy is 18 and still a little socially awkward himself. We have decided to keep things somewhat platonic online until I graduate from high school in a year and a half. I make this fact completely known to my aunt.

Elderly Aunt: But I promised (nice young man) that you would marry him! You need to ditch that silly Navy guy, leave high school and marry (nice young man) so you can take care of him!

I am now enraged because this is exactly what she did with my mother 18 years ago.

Me: Why would I want to drop out of high school just to support a mentally handicapped potential husband who is 10 years my senior?!?! You did the same thing with my mother and look how it turned out!

Elderly Aunt: But your mother dropped out of high school at 15 to have you and she did fine! You don’t need a high school education to support a family! You need to give this young man some hope for having a family!

For the record my mother struggled to earn her GED and an associates degree in paralegal studies so she could support me.

Me: Why is it my job to make a stranger that I just met happy by throwing away my hopes and dreams and being a slave to him?

Elderly Aunt: But he ASKED me to find him a wife! I thought that you would be the best bet because you are such a nice young lady. You need to really think about finding a good husband!

I was so mad that I walked away before I said something really mean to my aunt and the “nice young man”. Things ended up moving forward with my friend in the Navy and he asked me to marry him when I graduated from high school. Although I married young, I immediately enrolled in community college at my new husband’s duty station and I fell in love with paramedicine. I graduated from the community college with an AAS in Paramedicine at age 20 and I have worked as a paramedic off and on for the duration of my marriage. My husband is still in the Navy and we have been happily married for 13 years. Why my aunt thought that me supporting a mentally handicapped husband not in my peer group was a good idea is beyond me!