Unfiltered Story #270205

I’m at a party. I just finished a conversation when one of my friends, who lives overseas, comes up to me.

Female Friend: *Fangirlish voice* Oh my god, that guy was so handsome. Is he your boyfriend?

Me: *panicking* What the hell made you think that?!

Female Friend: The way you guys were acting. You’re like so close and affectionate. Watching you two flirt was so hot!

Me: *utterly aghast* WHAT?! NO! We were not flirting! I mean–

Female Friend: *Interrupts me* But the two of you look so hot together. He’s like the perfect ikemen (Japanese word for hot guy) and you’re like the perfect kkonminam (Korean word for pretty boy). He’s handsome and you’re pretty! You guys would make the best bromance!

Me: Absolutely not! He’s–

Female Friend: *Interrupts me again* Oh if the two of you get married, will you wear the wedding dress? You’ll look better than if you wore a tuxedo!

Me: I don’t swing that way! You know–

Female Friend: *Interrupts me yet again* Come on, he’s hot enough, isn’t he? So why didn’t you tell me you had such a hot friend? What’s his name?

Me: *Deadpan* He’s [Name]. My older brother.

Female Friend: Even better! You guys will make the BEST bromance!

Me: *thousand yard stare*

I proceeded to beat a hasty retreat, find the strongest bottle of liquor at that party and drink the whole damn thing.