Unfiltered Story #266276

I’m out at a big box store one day killing time, and see something on a bottom shelf that interests me. Being fairly tall I’m practically kneeling on the floor to look at it. Because I’m wearing headphones I don’t notice a woman walk up to me and start talking.

Woman: “Excuse me, *indistinct because of my music*”

I take off my headphones and look up at her.

Me: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

Woman: “Have you seen the female shape of God?”

Me, pausing for a good five seconds as my brain catches up: ” I’ve never been that religious.”

Woman: “Would you like to come see?”

The comedic bit of “you ain’t getting me to no secondary location sister” played out in my head as I stood up, a solid 5 foot 9 to her approximately 5 foot 2. Apparently she wasn’t expecting that because she backed up and scooted away fairly quickly when I declined.