Unfiltered Story #263551

Adventures With the Doctor’s Office: The Trilogy.

ACT 1
Office #1: “Hello, [Me]? We received a referral for you from your primary, but we don’t have you down for an appointment. Would you like to make an appointment?”
Me: “I had to make the appointment before I could get the referral. I’m coming in next Thursday.”
Office #1: “Oh. OK. See you then!”

ACT 2
Me: “Hi, I’m calling to see if my referral has been sent to my specialist yet?”
Office #2: “We didn’t send it over because you didn’t give us the specialist’s fax number. We need that to send it to him.”
Me: “But when I called to ask for the referral, I gave all the info to the girl on the phone. I asked her if she needed his fax number, and she said, ‘No, that’s OK, I can look it up.’ So I didn’t give it to her.”
Office #2: “Well, we can’t send it without the fax number. Can you give me the fax number now, please?”
Me: “I’M IN THE CAR. I DON’T HAVE THE FAX NUMBER IN FRONT OF ME. CAN’T YOU LOOK IT UP, LIKE THE OTHER GIRL WAS SUPPOSED TO DO?”
Office #2: *pause* “OK, I’ll look it up. Thank you.” *click*
(Disclaimer: I wasn’t actively driving at the time; I was in a parking lot, so technically, I *was* in my car.)

ACT 3
Me: “Hello, Dr.’s Office? Why did I get a bill in the mail for $25?”
Office #3: “Because you didn’t show up for your appointment.”
Me: “But I called the day before to cancel. I left a message on the voicemail.”
Office #3: “We never got a message.”
Me: “The prompts said, ‘To cancel an appointment, press 3’. I have the record of the call still in my phone.”
Office #3: “If you had left a message, we would have gotten it and cancelled the appointment.”
(This office did call back a few days later and apologize, telling me to disregard the bill. Which I had already done.)

BONUS CALL
Office #4: “Hello, may I speak to [daughter]?”
Me: “This is her mother, how can I help you?”
Office #4: “[Daughter] had an appointment today at 5pm, and we were wondering why she didn’t come by?”
Me: “Well, that’s interesting, since [Daughter] hasn’t been a patient of yours for several years. In fact, last time I was there, I asked that she be taken out of your system, ’cause she’s planning to move out of state.”
Office #4: *confused* “Oh. OK.”
Me: “Now, I *did* schedule an appointment for *myself* for today, but then re-scheduled it for tomorrow at 7pm.”
Office #4: “OK, I see that now. Sorry.”