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Unfiltered Story #262482

, , | Unfiltered | July 7, 2022

I left [City no. 1] four and a half years ago to transition to male, and to try and get closer to a relative. The relative was abusive and caused me TBI, among other things, and [City no. 2] has a very hot climate and polluted air and water, and my health degraded horribly. That area also has a negative job growth curve, and it reached the point where I was only there because I was there. I decided to come back to [City no. 1] In [City no. 1], [Bank no. 1] is incredibly convenient, but has only one location anywhere near [City no. 2]. That added with an ex who hacked my account, and I’d switched to [Bank no. 2], a small, regional bank that only has two locations in the entire metropolitan area of [City no. 1]. Naturally, I come to switch back to [Bank no. 1]. I have not legally changed my first name yet, and I was also very memorable for trying to learn Cantonese, and staff was very kind in letting me practise with them. However, I was known as the wrong gender. In this, I am going to open a new account, and am very nervous about the reaction of staff. I sign a sheet to wait for service to open the account in the format (legal first “chosen name” last name. I’ll also note I’m mixed, and my name is very Japanese, I.e., my name is not Chinese)

Branch Manager: (reads sheet, quirks eyebrow, looks around, speaks to other seated man in Cantonese beyond my comprehension skills, then to me): What do you need to do today?

Me: I came back here, and want to open an account. I used to bank here. Remember someone who was trying to learn Cantonese? (Mentions a few other things that aren’t gendered that were memorable about me)

Bank Manager (steps back to get a good look at me. Excited): Wow, you look different!

Me: I feel better this way.

Bank Manager: That’s good!

(After this, we began discussing the lack of Chinese grocers in [City no. 2] and he tells me where the closest ones would be, which turn out to be a fair drive away, and how getting clothes and shoes for short men is best done in Chinatown. Bank representative calls me, and is also nothing but respectful)

Bank Manager: You gonna stay this time?

Me: Yes. I might visit [City no. 2] again, but I don’t wanna live anywhere else but here!

(The next day, I need to see the teller, and I pick the one I remember best, who I know remembers the time I didn’t realise you have to say the “one” in one hundred in Cantonese, because I was approaching it as if it were Japanese)

Me: (Says money amount in Cantonese, and swipes card, switches to English. Teller is smiling) “You remember me?”

Teller: “Yes!” (Repeats money amount in Cantonese while handing it to me)

(I walk away, but my transaction isn’t complete)

Teller: “(legal name!)”

Me (returning): “Call me (preferred name) now. Can I write it?”

(Teller hands me a pen and Post-It as we handle what she called me back for)

Me (hands back paper with my preferred name in kanji)

Teller: “(Preferred name in Japanese pronunciation)…(Preferred name twice in Chinese pronunciation, first time muttered, second time while looking at me smiling) Okay!”

(The acceptance I received at this and a few other places assures me coming back was the right decision!)

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