Unfiltered Story #258668

I work at a large corporation, which is headquartered downtown in one of Ohio’s large cities. The department in which I work is considered part of Human Resources, and handles all of the benefits, payroll, time off, onboarding, retiring, life events, etc. As such, someone, somewhere, decided we should have a walk-in office with private consultation rooms and kiosks where employees could fill out forms related to these events in private. This office is located on the first floor of one of the main buildings, in a location that was previously a bank that has absolutely nothing to do with this corporation. In fact, the bank has just open their headquarters a few blocks away. Directly across the hall to this office is a door to the outside, and across the street is a bus stop. Despite the name of the department being displayed absolutely everywhere, we received every sort of random walk up possible. For the most part, this was just expected, and we would politely direct folks to the correct location. Every once in awhile, though…

Woman: I’m looking for Building 1.
Me: Yes, ma’am. If you continue down this hall, you’ll go through a walkway. That will take you to the reception desk for Building 1.
Woman: No, this is Building 1.
Me: I’m afraid not. This is Building 2. You’ll need to continue down this hallway to Building 1.
Woman: I am *NOT* going down there. I walked in THIS DOOR, so THIS is Building 1.
Me: Unfortunately, I can’t help you. If you have the extension of the person you need to meet in Building 1, you may use one of the phones here to contact them and have them meet you here.
Woman: THIS IS BUILDING 1.
Coworker: Ma’am, who are you looking for?
Woman: I need to know if y’all are hiring.
Coworker: That is exclusively handled in Building 1. We have no way to help with that.
Woman: FINE! (and exits the building)
******
Approximately 8 bajillion people: Where is the ATM machine?
Me: (cringing) The ATM is located in the kiosk next to the snack shop, directly to your right.
A8BP: No, I mean the *Bank* ATM.
Me: The *Bank* ATM was removed when *Bank* opened their headquarters two years ago.
A8BP: No it wasn’t. I just used it last week.
Me: Unfortunately, there is no ATM at this location. This is an HR office for (department).
A8BP: Well, how am I supposed to get money out?
Me: There is an ATM located in the kiosk next to the snack shop.
A8BP: NO! I NEED BANK ATM! BRING IT BACK!!
Me: (blinks rapidly)
A8BP: WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME??
Me: I’m sorry, we have absolutely no cash to disperse here.
*******

Drunk Person (accompanied by a strong stench of booze and urine): Can you help me?
Me: That depends. My specialty is company policy, but I can help you get around.
Drunk Person: See, I don’t know where I am.
Me: Ok. You are currently in Building 2 of Company, in City. Are you looking for the bus?
Drunk Person: No, I’m looking for the love of my life. You her?
Me: Sorry, no. Do you need the bus?
Drunk Person: No, I need a job. You got a job?
Me: The folks that do the hiring are in the next building over, but if you want to use our public job site, I can get you set up on this computer behind me. (I start to get that creepy feeling, so I press the button that lets Security know they should saunter by and check out the situation)
Drunk Person: Where’s the bathroom?
Me: Just keep going down this hall, to the right.
Security took their sweet old time getting down to me, so I told them to check the bathrooms. Sure enough, 30 minutes later, the paramedics came to pull the drunk out of the bathroom for trying to OD in there. He was conscious when they wheeled him past

Eventually, I got a new job, and they shut down that office, because no one would deal with the weirdos!