Unfiltered Story #257005

I get a cell phone call from a (I kid you not) 3 digit phone number. I normally don’t answer if I don’t know the caller, but this one struck me as so silly I had to pick it up.

Man with a thick, out-of-country accent: Yes, hello. How are you today?

Me: Who is this? (If I don’t know the caller and it’s obviously a scam, I refuse to say any positive words due to a scam a while ago where they would record you saying “yes” or “okay” to use it for nefarious identity theft purposes)

Man: This is [name]. I am needing to help you with your computer.

Me: What’s wrong with it?

Man: Yes, ma’am, it is having issues and I need you to see the issues.

Me: Issues.

Man: Yes, ma’am. I am having issues from your computer and need you to log onto the computer and see the issues. Are you logging on?

Me: (suddenly excited as I’ve not had one of these scams before and want to mess with him) I don’t think my computer is having any problems. What kind of issues?

Man: It is sending me error messages and I need to help you with your computer issues, Ma’am.

Me: I’m not having any issues with my computer.

Man: Yes, ma’am you are and I am needing for you to go look at it.

Me: Can I ask you something?

Man: Yes, ma’am, certainly. I am here to help you with the issues.

Me: What’s your company’s EIN? (For those outside of the US, an EIN is a number assigned by the IRS to identify your company for tax purposes. He hasn’t identified what company he is with.)

Man: We are not having an EIN.

Me: Oh?

Man: No, no EIN. We are with the Microsoft to help you with your computer issues.

(At this point I start laughing)

Me: Nice try, but you are obviously a scam if you don’t even know what that is. Fuck off. (I hung up before he could respond. I kind of hope they try again. I’ve got all sorts of things I would love to mess with them with.)