Unfiltered Story #256474

[It’s the early 1990’s. I’m shy and awkward around women, but my friends have dragooned me into going to a singles bar. I’m attracted to plump women. I look around and only see one, a brunette: she’s sitting at a table with a rail-thin blonde. I nervously approach and turn my attention to the brunette. My voice is shaky and would do justice to a mouse.]

Me: “H-hi.”

Brunette: “Hello.”

Me: “U-um, my name is [my name]. M-may I s-sit d-d-down?”

Brunette: “Whatever.”

[I sit facing the brunette.]

Me: “Um, uh, er, m-may I ask your name?”

Brunette: “Well, you did introduce yourself, so, why not? I’m [Her name].”

[Background conversation suddenly stops. I look up to see why. A mega-hot guy, think Chris Hemsworth from Thor, has just entered. I’d go gay for this guy, and it’s clear every woman in the place is lusting for him. And he’s heading for the table I’m seated at. I know I’m way outclassed and hope he doesn’t want the brunette.]

Uber-Stud: “Hi, ladies!”

[Please, please, please…]

Blonde: “Hi, handsome!”

Uber-Stud: “Hi, I’m [His name] –”

Blonde: [jumping up and grabbing his hand]: “Let’s get out of here.”

[Thank you.]

Me: “So, may I –”

Brunette: “You’re actually interested in me?”

Me: “Y-yes.”

Brunette: “I’m off duty now, so why don’t you walk me home?”

[She had to explain to me that she was screening for her blonde friend. I learned about the concept of a wingman and about why women always seem to go to those places in pairs. And that’s how I met my wife — we’re still happily married. Thank you, Uber-Stud, for picking up her blonde friend that night.]