Unfiltered Story #255874

I’ve been playing cards with the same friends for nearly 30 years. One friend likes to play a 4-player card game on his phone and he has named his computer opponents my name and the names of two others in our group. One day, my phone chirps the arrival of a message in group chat from that friend with a screen capture of a game where he has badly beaten “us.” Then he texts:

Friend #1: If I had more character, I’d be Ashton this win.

[Ashton? Huh?]

Friend #1: *ashamed
Friend #1: *ashamed of
Friend #1: I hate autocorrect

Friend #2: Lol. Hey u rarely win when I play u on my phone so I understand why u would take whatever win u can get

Friend #1: Ah, best you all the time. Halfway through the game, if you’re ahead, I start over. :-)
Friend #1: *I beat you

Friend #2: Fish monkey apple turds french fry fiddlesticks but crack maple garbage can hollandaise sauce
Friend #2: Darn auto correct, I was just trying to say that you should have a good day

Friend #1: Thank you… I think