Unfiltered Story #252758

(I’m working at a reception desk in a London financial company. Behind the desk is a narrow space in front of a wooden wall. One of my coworkers is a total jerk who’s always trying to get a rise out of me, and since I have [at the time undiagnosed] Asperger’s, his behaviour just makes me sick. I’m also highly averse to being touched. One day while we’re alone, the jerk decides it’ll be fun to creep up behind me and tickle me on the stomach. This gives me such a start that I reflexively kick back in my swivel chair.)
Me (bellowing): Get OFF of me!
(Seems I don’t know my own strength. The chair slams the jerk against the back wall with bruising force.)
Coworker: (Winded) What… the hell did… you do… THAT for?
Me: What do you think, arsehole?